








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 728 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7476 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5963 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8841 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5134 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,005,859 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 705 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ mikey ✪ | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | Jens CS | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | Chill | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | naruto san- ♱ | 51% | 245 |
| #5 | Señor Woofers | 47% | 299 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | naruto san- ♱ | 51% | 245 |
| #5 | Señor Woofers | 47% | 299 |
| #6 | pico | 47% | 200 |
| #7 | Señor cYruss | 43% | 281 |
| #8 | ◥◣ Bl4ck ◢◤ | 43% | 344 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor cYruss | 19 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ◥◣ Bl4ck ◢◤ | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Señor Woofers | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | naruto san- ♱ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | pico | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naruto san- ♱ | 731 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Señor Woofers | 703 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | Señor cYruss | 283 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | ◥◣ Bl4ck ◢◤ | 232 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jens CS | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naruto san- ♱ | +8.05 | 88 | 82 |
| #2 | Jens CS | +2.47 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | ♛ mikey ✪ | +2.03 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Señor Woofers | +1.29 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | Lemmii37 | -0.49 | 52 | 77 |





