








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 452 | 33% |
| Smokes | 290 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 225 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,517 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Dale | 45% | 93 |
| #2 | Stev | 44% | 71 |
| #3 | Phantomth1eve | 43% | 61 |
| #4 | ax3 | 36% | 22 |
| #5 | Electric Vehicle | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Phantomth1eve | 43% | 61 |
| #4 | ax3 | 36% | 22 |
| #5 | Electric Vehicle | 26% | 27 |
| #6 | Iron | 9% | 11 |
| #7 | nutmeg | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stev | 19 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Phantomth1eve | 15 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | ✪ Dale | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | ax3 | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | Iron | 4 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stev | 177 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | ✪ Dale | 109 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Phantomth1eve | 99 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ax3 | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Iron | 36 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stev | +3.81 | 74 | 40 |
| #2 | ax3 | +2.28 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪ Dale | +1.78 | 81 | 46 |
| #4 | Iron | +0.87 | 77 | 44 |
| #5 | Phantomth1eve | -1.35 | 58 | 47 |





