








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2048 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2805 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1945 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1640 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,513,617 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus after Crack | 53% | 58 |
| #2 | Manni Megaprügel | 52% | 116 |
| #3 | Peter Prengel | 49% | 212 |
| #4 | Michael Crackson | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | Lorenzooo41 | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus after Crack | 53% | 58 |
| #2 | Manni Megaprügel | 52% | 116 |
| #3 | Peter Prengel | 49% | 212 |
| #4 | Michael Crackson | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | Lorenzooo41 | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manni Megaprügel | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Peter Prengel | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Michael Crackson | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Jesus after Crack | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Lorenzooo41 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Prengel | 601 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Manni Megaprügel | 184 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Michael Crackson | 142 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lorenzooo41 | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jesus after Crack | 62 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Crackson | +1.82 | 49 | 49 |
| #2 | Peter Prengel | +1.24 | 40 | 64 |
| #3 | Lorenzooo41 | -0.19 | 46 | 51 |
| #4 | Manni Megaprügel | -0.28 | 53 | 60 |
| #5 | DJ Düsenpimmel | -0.37 | 25 | 50 |





