








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1093 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




141 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3570 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2912 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5059 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5850 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,561,677 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manni Megaprügel | 53% | 96 |
| #2 | Michael Crackson | 49% | 403 |
| #3 | Lorenzooo41 | 47% | 162 |
| #4 | Peter Prengel | 47% | 415 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manni Megaprügel | 53% | 96 |
| #2 | Michael Crackson | 49% | 403 |
| #3 | Lorenzooo41 | 47% | 162 |
| #4 | Peter Prengel | 47% | 415 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Crackson | 50 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Peter Prengel | 18 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Lorenzooo41 | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Manni Megaprügel | 7 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Prengel | 1062 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | Michael Crackson | 988 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #3 | Lorenzooo41 | 229 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Manni Megaprügel | 204 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Crackson | +1.48 | 47 | 52 |
| #2 | Lorenzooo41 | +0.24 | 43 | 47 |
| #3 | Peter Prengel | +0.17 | 34 | 66 |
| #4 | Jesus after Crack | -0.31 | 60 | 35 |
| #5 | Manni Megaprügel | -1.59 | 41 | 58 |





