








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6522 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4937 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4641 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4530 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $694,878 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bo Brade Ben | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Astro | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Dulltrax | 70% | 47 |
| #4 | Nuaj | 69% | 74 |
| #5 | Bald | 65% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Doltrax | 56% | 54 |
| #10 | HamSandwich (._.) | 54% | 24 |
| #11 | spak | 51% | 51 |
| #12 | nate | 48% | 25 |
| #13 | vanillafarmers | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vanillafarmers | 29 | 0.0272 |
| #2 | Nuaj | 23 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | rodger | 11 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Bo Brade Ben | 9 | 0.0191 |
| #5 | spak | 8 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuaj | 231 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | rodger | 213 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | KAPS | 175 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Doltrax | 157 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | spak | 152 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astro | +4.11 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | Bo Brade Ben | +3.49 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | KAPS | +3.05 | 82 | 58 |
| #4 | Nuaj | +2.86 | 88 | 53 |
| #5 | nate | +2.39 | 85 | 57 |





