








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 667 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Esplay | 30 matches | 1,977 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1882 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3297 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2171 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2890 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,047,425 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balletask | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Bert | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | ¡Adios! vaand4L | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | Capybara// | 68% | 41 |
| #5 | kielle | 63% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | zke | 61% | 66 |
| #9 | Svarthumor | 61% | 99 |
| #10 | H u n t e r | 56% | 82 |
| #11 | nasse | 44% | 18 |
| #12 | Munkkkk) | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H u n t e r | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | zke | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Mug1wara | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Svarthumor | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Capybara// | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kielle | 404 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mug1wara | 343 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | Svarthumor | 317 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | edde | 229 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | zke | 160 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mug1wara | +2.67 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | nasse | +2.33 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | edde | +1.93 | 80 | 75 |
| #4 | CharLees | +1.45 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | ¡Adios! vaand4L | +1.13 | 50 | 71 |





