








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,713 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 19% |
| Smokes | 693 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 640 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 874 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,961 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zke | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | zacke | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | CharLees | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | devoti | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zke | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | zacke | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | CharLees | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | devoti | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zke | 5 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | CharLees | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | devoti | 1 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CharLees | 197 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | zke | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | zacke | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | devoti | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CharLees | +1.73 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | zacke | +1.48 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | zke | +1.19 | 79 | 45 |
| #4 | H u n t e r | -0.55 | 58 | 52 |
| #5 | devoti | -2.86 | 63 | 45 |





