








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3009 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2561 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2921 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1654 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,669 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 𝒌𝖎𝝹i𝕥𝓞 ︻デ 一 | 45% | 47 |
| #10 | 🖤🔥нεαvεη🔥🖤 | 45% | 83 |
| #11 | VatraK™ | 41% | 92 |
| #12 | Sneagle | 41% | 27 |
| #13 | ☢ Ray_vaN ツ | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlphA | 20 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Kaîser | 18 | 0.0231 |
| #3 | 𝒌𝖎𝝹i𝕥𝓞 ︻デ 一 | 14 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | VatraK™ | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | ☢ Ray_vaN ツ | 8 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlphA | 300 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kaîser | 224 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | VatraK™ | 222 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | 𝒌𝖎𝝹i𝕥𝓞 ︻デ 一 | 154 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Taurus | 108 | 0.06 | 2 min |





