








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1353 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3498 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3135 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 714 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,196,564 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ☢ Ray_vaN ツ | 48% | 48 |
| #11 | Amory | 48% | 23 |
| #12 | PAPAYA | 45% | 83 |
| #13 | Kaîser | 43% | 76 |
| #14 | Sneagle | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaîser | 26 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | 𝒌𝖎𝝹i𝕥𝓞 ︻デ 一 | 18 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | VatraK™ | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Papaya | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ☢ Ray_vaN ツ | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papaya | 677 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Kaîser | 478 | 0.30 | 13 min |
| #3 | 𝒌𝖎𝝹i𝕥𝓞 ︻デ 一 | 288 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | VatraK™ | 248 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | AlphA | 197 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dijot | +2.44 | 83 | 58 |
| #2 | Kaîser | +1.88 | 70 | 71 |
| #3 | AlphA | +1.70 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | Sneagle | +1.23 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | 𝒌𝖎𝝹i𝕥𝓞 ︻デ 一 | +0.97 | 74 | 63 |





