








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Faceit | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3784 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6252 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7553 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5735 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,038,606 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 835 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VatraK™ | 22 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | 𝒌𝖎𝝹i𝕥𝓞 ︻デ 一 | 22 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Kaîser | 19 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | Papaya | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | AlphA | 12 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VatraK™ | 710 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Papaya | 680 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | 𝒌𝖎𝝹i𝕥𝓞 ︻デ 一 | 593 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #4 | AlphA | 403 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | Kaîser | 397 | 0.30 | 12 min |





