








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4488 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5946 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2969 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4620 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,020,888 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunGiKev | 50% | 349 |
| #2 | Tassen | 49% | 255 |
| #3 | Juandeag | 49% | 148 |
| #4 | Falkenberg | 49% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunGiKev | 50% | 349 |
| #2 | Tassen | 49% | 255 |
| #3 | Juandeag | 49% | 148 |
| #4 | Falkenberg | 49% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunGiKev | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Falkenberg | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Tassen | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Juandeag | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunGiKev | 910 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | Falkenberg | 736 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | Tassen | 278 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Juandeag | 192 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falkenberg | +1.90 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | FunGiKev | +0.76 | 51 | 72 |
| #3 | Juandeag | -0.85 | 50 | 54 |
| #4 | Fung3i | -0.95 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | Tassen | -1.78 | 60 | 54 |





