








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3502 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6424 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 4198 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,054 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassen | 50% | 291 |
| #2 | FunGiKev | 49% | 350 |
| #3 | Juandeag | 49% | 187 |
| #4 | Fung3i | 49% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassen | 50% | 291 |
| #2 | FunGiKev | 49% | 350 |
| #3 | Juandeag | 49% | 187 |
| #4 | Fung3i | 49% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunGiKev | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Fung3i | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Tassen | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Juandeag | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunGiKev | 926 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #2 | Fung3i | 604 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Tassen | 341 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | Juandeag | 231 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falkenberg | +1.67 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | FunGiKev | +0.50 | 50 | 71 |
| #3 | Fung3i | -0.79 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | Juandeag | -0.97 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | Tassen | -1.72 | 60 | 54 |





