








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1555 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3200 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3502 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1951 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,279 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juandeag | 51% | 143 |
| #2 | Falkenberg | 50% | 291 |
| #3 | Fung3i | 49% | 255 |
| #4 | FunGiKev | 49% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juandeag | 51% | 143 |
| #2 | Falkenberg | 50% | 291 |
| #3 | Fung3i | 49% | 255 |
| #4 | FunGiKev | 49% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falkenberg | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | FunGiKev | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Juandeag | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Fung3i | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falkenberg | 684 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | FunGiKev | 619 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | Fung3i | 480 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Juandeag | 176 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falkenberg | +2.14 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | FunGiKev | +0.45 | 50 | 71 |
| #3 | Juandeag | -0.67 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | Fung3i | -0.72 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | Tassen | -1.62 | 62 | 53 |





