








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1593 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3734 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3580 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2819 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $928,709 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassen | 51% | 143 |
| #2 | Falkenberg | 49% | 187 |
| #3 | Fung3i | 49% | 148 |
| #4 | FunGiKev | 48% | 244 |
| #5 | Pashur | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassen | 51% | 143 |
| #2 | Falkenberg | 49% | 187 |
| #3 | Fung3i | 49% | 148 |
| #4 | FunGiKev | 48% | 244 |
| #5 | Pashur | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falkenberg | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | FunGiKev | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Tassen | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Pashur | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunGiKev | 709 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Falkenberg | 491 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Pashur | 286 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Fung3i | 264 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tassen | 149 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falkenberg | +2.16 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | FunGiKev | +0.77 | 50 | 72 |
| #3 | Pashur | -0.73 | 21 | 66 |
| #4 | Juandeag | -0.79 | 51 | 56 |
| #5 | Fung3i | -0.97 | 79 | 61 |





