










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 952 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1571 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1453 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1635 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,282 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 769 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kronozome | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | DB | 53% | 132 |
| #3 | bullet | 52% | 85 |
| #4 | dorko | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | pineapple | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Step Mom | 520 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | DB | 155 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kronozome | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | bullet | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | pineapple | 59 | 0.08 | 2 min |





