








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3572 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3231 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3786 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2781 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,764,843 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kronozome | 61% | 66 |
| #2 | bullet | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | Step Unc | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | DB | 49% | 314 |
| #5 | Step Mom | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DB | 49% | 314 |
| #5 | Step Mom | 47% | 55 |
| #6 | Grapefruit Glizzy | 47% | 115 |
| #7 | NinjaCumFries | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | Yung Soda | 44% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DB | 23 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Yung Soda | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Step Unc | 10 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Grapefruit Glizzy | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Step Mom | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DB | 486 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kronozome | 177 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Step Mom | 144 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yung Soda | 98 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Grapefruit Glizzy | 35 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bullet | +2.46 | 78 | 35 |
| #2 | Kronozome | +0.87 | 56 | 65 |
| #3 | Yung Soda | +0.73 | 73 | 49 |
| #4 | pineapple | +0.46 | 59 | 54 |
| #5 | Grapefruit Glizzy | -0.31 | 64 | 39 |





