










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5136 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5919 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6815 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5783 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,598,332 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1070 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kronozome | 65% | 196 |
| #2 | bullet | 60% | 211 |
| #3 | dorko | 54% | 74 |
| #4 | NinjaCumFries | 53% | 132 |
| #5 | Step Mom | 53% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Step Mom | 26 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Step Unc | 26 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | pineapple | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | bullet | 19 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | NinjaCumFries | 11 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pineapple | 513 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | Step Mom | 494 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kronozome | 468 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | bullet | 189 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | dorko | 152 | 0.11 | 4 min |





