








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 493 matches | ||
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 251 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




149 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4130 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1882 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 4569 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5380 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,017,978 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaVoC | 64% | 78 |
| #2 | Kronozome | 63% | 131 |
| #3 | DB | 60% | 211 |
| #4 | babi | 56% | 96 |
| #5 | Step Unc | 55% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Step Mom | 66 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | BOOTIGHT | 25 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | babi | 23 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Step Unc | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | DB | 14 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Step Mom | 938 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | DB | 355 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | dorko | 322 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | HaVoC | 306 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kronozome | 300 | 0.11 | 8 min |





