








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 755 matches | ||
| Wingman | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7392 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9681 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 8142 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5565 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,838,416 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfacethebeast | 50% | 540 |
| #2 | kevenped | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | René Lévesque | 48% | 187 |
| #4 | Axys | 48% | 96 |
| #5 | DrRespectKid | 45% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kevenped | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | René Lévesque | 48% | 187 |
| #4 | Axys | 48% | 96 |
| #5 | DrRespectKid | 45% | 143 |
| #6 | Lost | 42% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrRespectKid | 24 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | scarfacethebeast | 21 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Lost | 18 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Axys | 11 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | René Lévesque | 10 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | René Lévesque | 434 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | scarfacethebeast | 433 | 0.04 | 12 min |
| #3 | Axys | 248 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | kevenped | 74 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | DrRespectKid | 26 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axys | +1.54 | 65 | 62 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | +1.02 | 50 | 56 |
| #3 | René Lévesque | +1.00 | 80 | 65 |
| #4 | scarfacethebeast | +0.51 | 57 | 42 |
| #5 | DrRespectKid | -0.41 | 67 | 20 |





