








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 521 matches | ||
| Wingman | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2408 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5421 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4159 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4354 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,567 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benadryl | 58% | 72 |
| #2 | Axys | 58% | 136 |
| #3 | René Lévesque | 54% | 85 |
| #4 | Mellstroy | 50% | 540 |
| #5 | Selma Grenon | 49% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | 51 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Axys | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Lost | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Selma Grenon | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | René Lévesque | 5 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | 858 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #2 | Axys | 344 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Selma Grenon | 232 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | René Lévesque | 199 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Benadryl | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axys | +2.79 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | René Lévesque | +1.29 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | Selma Grenon | +0.88 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | Mellstroy | +0.83 | 50 | 55 |
| #5 | scarfacethebeast | +0.80 | 59 | 43 |





