








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 5% |
| Smokes | 591 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 205 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,850 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axys | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | 45% | 143 |
| #3 | Lost | 44% | 89 |
| #4 | scarfacethebeast | 40% | 50 |
| #5 | René Lévesque | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axys | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | 45% | 143 |
| #3 | Lost | 44% | 89 |
| #4 | scarfacethebeast | 40% | 50 |
| #5 | René Lévesque | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | 10 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Lost | 7 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | 64 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | René Lévesque | 30 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | Axys | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | scarfacethebeast | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Lost | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | +0.14 | 49 | 53 |
| #2 | Axys | +0.00 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | Lost | -0.24 | 69 | 18 |
| #4 | scarfacethebeast | -0.30 | 59 | 36 |
| #5 | DrRespectKid | -0.31 | 72 | 22 |





