








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4241 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5628 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3311 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4201 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,213 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfacethebeast | 54% | 85 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | 48% | 187 |
| #3 | Lost | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | DrRespectKid | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfacethebeast | 54% | 85 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | 48% | 187 |
| #3 | Lost | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | DrRespectKid | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Lost | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | DrRespectKid | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | 289 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | scarfacethebeast | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | DrRespectKid | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Lost | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | René Lévesque | +0.74 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | +0.29 | 50 | 54 |
| #3 | scarfacethebeast | -0.15 | 54 | 48 |
| #4 | DrRespectKid | -0.15 | 67 | 25 |
| #5 | Lost | -2.16 | 69 | 22 |





