








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1799 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2374 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3809 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4511 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,759,566 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rattatouiIIe | 52% | 223 |
| #2 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 52% | 188 |
| #3 | serafemaster | 50% | 218 |
| #4 | Mellstroy | 49% | 83 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mellstroy | 49% | 83 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 49% | 76 |
| #6 | Gab T Desh | 47% | 98 |
| #7 | scarfacethebeast | 41% | 39 |
| #8 | Advil | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serafemaster | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | rattatouiIIe | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Gab T Desh | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rattatouiIIe | 203 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #2 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 162 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mellstroy | 131 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Whitebeard OP | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gab T Desh | 47 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | +2.00 | 52 | 61 |
| #2 | serafemaster | +1.59 | 54 | 20 |
| #3 | Advil | +1.30 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | kevenped | +0.71 | 66 | 45 |
| #5 | Eevon Ken'ivon | -0.05 | 41 | 66 |





