








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2006 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2753 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2745 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1255 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,803 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | :/ | 49% | 53 |
| #7 | Super Bowler | 49% | 208 |
| #8 | P✪ | 47% | 131 |
| #9 | SeamenGuzzler | 38% | 40 |
| #10 | Roger Hoff | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P✪ | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Super Bowler | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | :/ | 12 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | Roger Hoff | 8 | 0.0134 |
| #5 | teach | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Bowler | 796 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | P✪ | 282 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | GRIZZ | 171 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | caveman | 149 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | teach | 138 | 0.12 | 3 min |





