








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1866 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 463 matches | ||
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9798 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9065 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8171 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9482 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,739,449 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0iS0N0uS | 93% | 69 |
| #2 | Ezelpigu | 84% | 173 |
| #3 | -Silver2k | 82% | 178 |
| #4 | blue slime | 82% | 138 |
| #5 | ende. | 80% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sherwin | 80% | 89 |
| #7 | ✪灵活小胖子 | 77% | 485 |
| #8 | ⸸ On Duty ⸸ | 77% | 81 |
| #9 | ♿Mo_Mo | 72% | 302 |
| #10 | ♡ | 57% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪灵活小胖子 | 44 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ♿Mo_Mo | 22 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | ende. | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ⸸ On Duty ⸸ | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | sherwin | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪灵活小胖子 | 2496 | 0.28 | 54 min |
| #2 | ende. | 884 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | ♿Mo_Mo | 373 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | blue slime | 371 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | sherwin | 273 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blue slime | +4.44 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | ✪灵活小胖子 | +4.36 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | ende. | +4.26 | 89 | 54 |
| #4 | ♿Mo_Mo | +4.11 | 88 | 50 |
| #5 | P0iS0N0uS | +4.04 | 92 | 46 |





