










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1249 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
22007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14151 | 33% |
| Smokes | 12391 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2652 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 13258 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,820,948 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kjaerbye | 89% | 99 |
| #2 | 𝙋𝙧 | 89% | 209 |
| #3 | Anasasis | 88% | 127 |
| #4 | -Silver2k | 87% | 950 |
| #5 | taco | 85% | 441 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezelpigu | 28 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | taco | 24 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | -Silver2k | 15 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Anasasis | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Leo girl | 10 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taco | 1748 | 0.22 | 56 min |
| #2 | sherwin | 975 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #3 | Ezelpigu | 734 | 0.03 | 19 min |
| #4 | Leo girl | 546 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #5 | 𝙋𝙧 | 515 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anasasis | +5.23 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | blue slime | +4.49 | 91 | 65 |
| #3 | taco | +3.62 | 91 | 71 |
| #4 | 𝙋𝙧 | +3.05 | 90 | 61 |
| #5 | /qinsy. | +3.03 | 91 | 67 |





