








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1742 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1621 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2149 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1368 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3184 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2009 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,534 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7808 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | blue slime | 87% | 950 |
| #9 | Ezelpigu | 86% | 1286 |
| #10 | taco | 85% | 383 |
| #11 | sherwin | 85% | 420 |
| #12 | /qinsy. | 82% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezelpigu | 29 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | taco | 19 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ende. | 15 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | blue slime | 14 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | sherwin | 12 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blue slime | 2604 | 0.15 | 71 min |
| #2 | taco | 1669 | 0.24 | 55 min |
| #3 | sherwin | 913 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #4 | 𝙋𝙧 | 791 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #5 | Ezelpigu | 736 | 0.03 | 20 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ende. | +6.24 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | Imagination | +5.82 | 90 | 75 |
| #3 | blue slime | +4.87 | 91 | 67 |
| #4 | /qinsy. | +4.27 | 89 | 68 |
| #5 | taco | +4.21 | 93 | 73 |





