








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2433 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2769 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2065 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1807 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,330 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nkS | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Filhote de Gambá | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Cabelo de Boneca | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Zooty- | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | raf1uskiz | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arg is back on track | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | raf1uskiz | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | p4nD | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | nkS | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Zooty- | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arg is back on track | 149 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Zooty- | 129 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | p4nD | 114 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lutchas | 106 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | raf1uskiz | 94 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cabelo de Boneca | +7.41 | 87 | 43 |
| #2 | Filhote de Gambá | +6.99 | 82 | 37 |
| #3 | raf1uskiz | +2.84 | 73 | 77 |
| #4 | p4nD | +2.01 | 54 | 69 |
| #5 | nkS | +1.93 | 79 | 63 |





