










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 619 | 33% |
| Smokes | 341 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 548 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,759 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stroke patient | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Rr_ | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Harper | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | SaeNyeon | 68% | 41 |
| #5 | ssunV | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 이상한변호사사울굿맨 | 16 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | KDH64 | 14 | 0.0350 |
| #3 | SaeNyeon | 12 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | Harper | 5 | 0.0262 |
| #5 | ayeblyat | 5 | 0.0275 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 이상한변호사사울굿맨 | 184 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | SaeNyeon | 107 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Harper | 55 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rr_ | 53 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | KDH64 | 50 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maikelele | +3.60 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | bAej | +3.00 | 94 | 70 |
| #3 | Stroke patient | +2.96 | 84 | 26 |
| #4 | D | +2.62 | 90 | 58 |
| #5 | Harper | +2.12 | 89 | 42 |





