








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




211 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1604 | 31% |
| Smokes | 521 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1861 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1129 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,688 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Smite | 38% | 32 |
| #7 | SON😭😭 | 34% | 64 |
| #8 | GRAAAH! | 33% | 107 |
| #9 | Cobalt | 30% | 46 |
| #10 | Jesus Kush | 28% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRAAAH! | 110 | 0.0570 |
| #2 | Dr. Wendell Bender | 31 | 0.0502 |
| #3 | im disabled | 21 | 0.0198 |
| #4 | Cobalt | 13 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | SON😭😭 | 10 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElementXVI | 206 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | GRAAAH! | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jesus Kush | 101 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | SON😭😭 | 100 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cobalt | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElementXVI | +7.15 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | GRAAAH! | +3.16 | 76 | 30 |
| #3 | Ra1d3rcs | +1.01 | 65 | 27 |
| #4 | Cobalt | +0.33 | 50 | 51 |
| #5 | SON😭😭 | -0.25 | 31 | 48 |





