








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1145 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1347 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1681 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1507 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,609 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikeymcc0 | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Big Chicken | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Little Chicken | 62% | 95 |
| #4 | S0151D | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | SmiGGa | 58% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Louiegg | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Camzee | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Little Chicken | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | SmiGGa | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | savvy | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Chicken | +2.47 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | Murray | +2.20 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | Big Chicken | +1.46 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | S0151D | +1.05 | 54 | 47 |
| #5 | -ELI | +1.03 | 66 | 50 |





