








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 712 | 13% |
| Smokes | 281 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 1953 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2642 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,516,177 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chingy | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Regina /` - . -'\ | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Placcy | 48% | 81 |
| #4 | Big Papa Rappa | 42% | 132 |
| #5 | Cenno | 41% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | B1lly | 41% | 313 |
| #7 | West | 40% | 299 |
| #8 | [ZSUR] BL00D | 39% | 99 |
| #9 | Aye Aye Ron | 39% | 28 |
| #10 | JM7 | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1lly | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Big Papa Rappa | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | West | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Aye Aye Ron | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | [ZSUR] BL00D | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1lly | 299 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | Big Papa Rappa | 258 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Cenno | 180 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Regina /` - . -'\ | 170 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chingy | 108 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regina /` - . -'\ | +4.13 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | Chingy | +2.90 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | B1lly | +2.76 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | Placcy | +2.08 | 44 | 48 |
| #5 | Big Papa Rappa | +1.32 | 62 | 61 |





