








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1444 | 27% |
| Smokes | 889 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1152 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1802 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,639 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chingy | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Regina /` - . -'\ | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Raining Apocalypse | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | [ZSUR] BL00D | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Big Papa Rappa | 47% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | B1lly | 43% | 127 |
| #8 | West | 43% | 119 |
| #9 | Galo | 41% | 76 |
| #10 | Apolloシ | 33% | 12 |
| #11 | JM7 | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1lly | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Apolloシ | 5 | 0.0191 |
| #3 | Big Papa Rappa | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | West | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Regina /` - . -'\ | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Papa Rappa | 185 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | B1lly | 116 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Regina /` - . -'\ | 114 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chingy | 70 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Raining Apocalypse | 63 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regina /` - . -'\ | +3.52 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Chingy | +2.99 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | B1lly | +2.25 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Placcy | +1.77 | 50 | 46 |
| #5 | Big Papa Rappa | +1.28 | 65 | 63 |





