








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 905 | 18% |
| Smokes | 908 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1485 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1831 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,705 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gregs | 50% | 78 |
| #2 | ross | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | Y 3 3 T | 48% | 111 |
| #4 | Udder Spinner | 47% | 147 |
| #5 | ✪ F3DerAL | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ F3DerAL | 46% | 72 |
| #6 | kingdra | 44% | 147 |
| #7 | oKoL | 42% | 111 |
| #8 | Smooth | 41% | 79 |
| #9 | Kang | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Udder Spinner | 19 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | oKoL | 17 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Y 3 3 T | 16 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | kingdra | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Smooth | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kingdra | 927 | 0.30 | 28 min |
| #2 | ✪ F3DerAL | 333 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Udder Spinner | 281 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | gregs | 256 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Smooth | 214 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oKoL | +1.56 | 89 | 36 |
| #2 | ross | +1.35 | 64 | 53 |
| #3 | gwill | +0.84 | 68 | 34 |
| #4 | Kang | +0.49 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | kingdra | +0.42 | 66 | 82 |





