








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1994 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1535 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2188 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1818 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,509 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gregs | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | kingdra | 55% | 82 |
| #3 | Y 3 3 T | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | ✪ F3DerAL | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Kang | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kang | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | Buzz Lightyear | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | oKoL | 43% | 49 |
| #8 | Udder Spinner | 43% | 84 |
| #9 | gwill | 41% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gwill | 14 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Udder Spinner | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | oKoL | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Y 3 3 T | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | kingdra | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kingdra | 500 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | Udder Spinner | 155 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ F3DerAL | 136 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | gregs | 126 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kang | 104 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oKoL | +2.08 | 88 | 37 |
| #2 | kingdra | +1.14 | 68 | 86 |
| #3 | gwill | +0.72 | 64 | 34 |
| #4 | Smooth | +0.55 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | ✪ F3DerAL | -0.48 | 77 | 59 |





