








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6347 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5047 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3526 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3424 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,571 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 明末耐掐王万穗爷 | 70% | 56 |
| #2 | kita.🦉 | 63% | 43 |
| #3 | dontree | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | 时倾 | 61% | 64 |
| #5 | 魔仙女王之神 | 59% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Gabriel— | 50% | 144 |
| #15 | Lucas | 48% | 44 |
| #16 | Joseph Scarlet | 47% | 34 |
| #17 | SZQR | 45% | 31 |
| #18 | Kawashiro Snow | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabriel— | 24 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Ha0zi | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | M1ke | 12 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | 最硬的人 | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | lizzyc | 8 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lizzyc | 521 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | oranger | 502 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #3 | Gabriel— | 487 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | 最硬的人 | 411 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ha0zi | 326 | 0.17 | 7 min |





