








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 459 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5343 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8390 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4341 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6751 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,213,749 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 魔仙女王之神 | 23 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Gabriel— | 18 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | 梵 | 17 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | M1ke | 17 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | oranger | 15 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 魔仙女王之神 | 1836 | 0.26 | 46 min |
| #2 | oranger | 1625 | 0.26 | 41 min |
| #3 | 梵 | 973 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #4 | 最硬的人 | 496 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | kita.🦉 | 438 | 0.17 | 9 min |





