








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 519 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1559 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2746 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2211 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1545 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,904 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELAJAS | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | Hel(l) | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Get mobilized cyka | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | master10we | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Janxu | 52% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TIGER | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | A_A | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Get mobilized cyka | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | .--NuKi--. | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ✪ Nossu. | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TIGER | 112 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | pewpew | 96 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kullpull | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | A_A | 86 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Janxu | 78 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kullpull | +7.33 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | Monkey be gamin | +4.55 | 64 | 64 |
| #3 | 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂 | +2.00 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | TIGER | +1.36 | 41 | 53 |
| #5 | Janxu | +0.78 | 65 | 39 |





