








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 503 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5738 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8250 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8087 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5677 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,958,242 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janxu | 56% | 140 |
| #2 | Monkey be gamin | 55% | 71 |
| #3 | A_A | 54% | 147 |
| #4 | master10we | 51% | 91 |
| #5 | 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂 | 50% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insane | 18 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | pewpew | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | .--NuKi--. | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Janxu | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | A_A | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insane | 275 | 0.02 | 6 min |
| #2 | master10we | 191 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Monkey be gamin | 177 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | pewpew | 169 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Janxu | 165 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey be gamin | +4.53 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂 | +2.66 | 69 | 42 |
| #3 | TIGER | +1.70 | 45 | 54 |
| #4 | Janxu | +0.95 | 68 | 42 |
| #5 | UN3xpected | +0.14 | 61 | 56 |





