








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2502 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5599 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5052 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5988 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,247,689 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cran0r | 43% | 255 |
| #2 | Yanthrax | 39% | 590 |
| #3 | Stresel | 39% | 565 |
| #4 | es-sniper #booted | 37% | 212 |
| #5 | aLx[$] | 33% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stresel | 21 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Yanthrax | 16 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | cran0r | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Fumm3lpilz | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | es-sniper #booted | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yanthrax | 2783 | 0.23 | 76 min |
| #2 | Stresel | 2618 | 0.23 | 60 min |
| #3 | cran0r | 1875 | 0.36 | 56 min |
| #4 | es-sniper #booted | 368 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Fumm3lpilz | 329 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cran0r | +2.84 | 73 | 83 |
| #2 | Yanthrax | +2.15 | 84 | 72 |
| #3 | Stresel | +1.79 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | aLx[$] | +0.19 | 87 | 52 |
| #5 | es-sniper #booted | -1.17 | 63 | 57 |





