








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1734 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20388 | 42% |
| Smokes | 13994 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3429 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 11279 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,552,503 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 772 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cran0r | 52% | 565 |
| #2 | Stresel | 48% | 974 |
| #3 | es-sniper #booted | 48% | 494 |
| #4 | Fumm3lpilz | 45% | 488 |
| #5 | aLx[$] | 45% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cran0r | 31 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Stresel | 27 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | pipipupu | 15 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | es-sniper #booted | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Fumm3lpilz | 10 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stresel | 4335 | 0.22 | 96 min |
| #2 | cran0r | 4128 | 0.36 | 124 min |
| #3 | es-sniper #booted | 822 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #4 | Fumm3lpilz | 822 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #5 | pipipupu | 727 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cran0r | +2.37 | 75 | 83 |
| #2 | Yanthrax | +1.46 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | Stresel | +1.40 | 77 | 73 |
| #4 | aLx[$] | -0.09 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | es-sniper #booted | -1.04 | 61 | 58 |





