








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1759 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2041 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3239 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2958 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,209,091 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laufsteakmodel シ | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | es-sniper #booted | 47% | 53 |
| #3 | cran0r | 47% | 131 |
| #4 | Stresel | 46% | 157 |
| #5 | Yanthrax | 45% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cran0r | 47% | 131 |
| #4 | Stresel | 46% | 157 |
| #5 | Yanthrax | 45% | 230 |
| #6 | Fumm3lpilz | 43% | 88 |
| #7 | pipipupu | 33% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yanthrax | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Stresel | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | cran0r | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | pipipupu | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Fumm3lpilz | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yanthrax | 1117 | 0.24 | 31 min |
| #2 | cran0r | 1037 | 0.38 | 31 min |
| #3 | Stresel | 661 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #4 | Fumm3lpilz | 139 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | pipipupu | 105 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stresel | +1.46 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | cran0r | +1.21 | 74 | 82 |
| #3 | Yanthrax | +1.13 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | aLx[$] | +0.48 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | laufsteakmodel シ | +0.17 | 67 | 50 |





