








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17025 | 39% |
| Smokes | 10416 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7258 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 8937 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,309,002 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yanthrax | 52% | 565 |
| #2 | Stresel | 52% | 398 |
| #3 | es-sniper #booted | 51% | 126 |
| #4 | aLx[$] | 47% | 131 |
| #5 | Fumm3lpilz | 46% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Stresel | 52% | 398 |
| #3 | es-sniper #booted | 51% | 126 |
| #4 | aLx[$] | 47% | 131 |
| #5 | Fumm3lpilz | 46% | 209 |
| #6 | pipipupu | 43% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yanthrax | 20 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Stresel | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | pipipupu | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Fumm3lpilz | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | es-sniper #booted | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yanthrax | 2710 | 0.23 | 74 min |
| #2 | Stresel | 1827 | 0.22 | 41 min |
| #3 | pipipupu | 344 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fumm3lpilz | 341 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | aLx[$] | 231 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cran0r | +2.30 | 76 | 83 |
| #2 | Yanthrax | +1.30 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | Stresel | +1.10 | 75 | 73 |
| #4 | aLx[$] | +0.23 | 85 | 54 |
| #5 | es-sniper #booted | -1.44 | 60 | 59 |





