








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5546 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7449 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5610 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5960 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,520,721 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slender | 48% | 116 |
| #2 | cran0r | 46% | 209 |
| #3 | Yanthrax | 45% | 488 |
| #4 | Stresel | 43% | 377 |
| #5 | aLx[$] | 43% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stresel | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Yanthrax | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | cran0r | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | pipipupu | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | es-sniper #booted | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yanthrax | 2303 | 0.23 | 62 min |
| #2 | Stresel | 1743 | 0.23 | 39 min |
| #3 | cran0r | 1505 | 0.35 | 46 min |
| #4 | es-sniper #booted | 347 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Slender | 252 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slender | +2.68 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | cran0r | +2.24 | 75 | 85 |
| #3 | Yanthrax | +1.81 | 82 | 74 |
| #4 | Stresel | +1.79 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | aLx[$] | +0.28 | 87 | 56 |





