








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2841 | 47% |
| Smokes | 2059 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 682 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 482 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,138,251 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1064 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sole survivor | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Johnny Lawrence | 51% | 100 |
| #3 | fartman | 43% | 118 |
| #4 | The Courier | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | Mazio | 40% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Lawrence | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | fartman | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Mazio | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Sole survivor | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Ginormous giga max Jake | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Lawrence | +4.12 | 73 | 50 |
| #2 | fartman | +2.24 | 69 | 48 |
| #3 | Sole survivor | +2.14 | 39 | 45 |
| #4 | Mazio | +2.01 | 73 | 40 |
| #5 | Ginormous giga max Jake | -1.45 | 41 | 52 |





