








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2404 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3714 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4032 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2067 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,950,443 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sole survivor | 61% | 224 |
| #2 | Johnny Lawrence | 59% | 254 |
| #3 | The Lemon God | 56% | 132 |
| #4 | Big Ol' Bowl of Stew | 52% | 101 |
| #5 | Mazio | 51% | 308 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sole survivor | 30 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Johnny Lawrence | 27 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Mazio | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | The Courier | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | The Lemon God | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mazio | 236 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sole survivor | 225 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | zxz1400 | 219 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | The Courier | 213 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ginormous giga max Jake | 212 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Lawrence | +3.44 | 76 | 43 |
| #2 | fartman | +3.20 | 73 | 47 |
| #3 | Mazio | +2.06 | 74 | 37 |
| #4 | Sole survivor | +0.65 | 39 | 44 |
| #5 | The Courier | -0.95 | 51 | 42 |





