








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1245 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1445 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1568 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2350 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,100 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fartman | 21 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Johnny Lawrence | 19 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Sole survivor | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | The Courier | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Ginormous giga max Jake | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fartman | 313 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sole survivor | 189 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ginormous giga max Jake | 160 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | zxz1400 | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Johnny Lawrence | 142 | 0.04 | 3 min |





