








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 944 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1163 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1357 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 566 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,000 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Bowl of Stew | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Sole survivor | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | The Courier | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | The Lemon God | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | fartman | 51% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fartman | 143 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | zxz1400 | 102 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | The Courier | 87 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mazio | 84 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Johnny Lawrence | 84 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Lawrence | +4.22 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | fartman | +3.30 | 73 | 48 |
| #3 | Mazio | +2.46 | 74 | 35 |
| #4 | Sole survivor | -0.06 | 37 | 41 |
| #5 | The Courier | -0.31 | 52 | 48 |





