








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5235 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2846 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4820 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3352 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,594,264 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ostran Rose | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | MHJ | 53% | 361 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 53% | 223 |
| #4 | MAF | 51% | 234 |
| #5 | OAK | 51% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MAF | 51% | 234 |
| #5 | OAK | 51% | 97 |
| #6 | frodoMEISTER | 48% | 185 |
| #7 | eGirl Ξίνα | 43% | 114 |
| #8 | ❟❛❟HA_29 | 43% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHJ | 62 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 36 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | MAF | 27 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | eGirl Ξίνα | 15 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | ❟❛❟HA_29 | 15 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHJ | 1209 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | frodoMEISTER | 444 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | MAF | 408 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | eGirl Ξίνα | 291 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 283 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frodoMEISTER | +6.40 | 91 | 48 |
| #2 | MHJ | +1.72 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | +1.12 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | ❟❛❟HA_29 | +0.94 | 65 | 48 |
| #5 | MAF | +0.28 | 56 | 59 |





