








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1657 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1014 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2188 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2497 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,502 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OAK | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | MHJ | 58% | 252 |
| #3 | MAF | 56% | 144 |
| #4 | ๅๅไน | 53% | 223 |
| #5 | frodoMEISTER | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHJ | 40 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | MAF | 16 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | ๅๅไน | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | โโโHA_29 | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | eGirl ฮฮฏฮฝฮฑ | 3 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHJ | 814 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | ๅๅไน | 525 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | MAF | 250 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | frodoMEISTER | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | eGirl ฮฮฏฮฝฮฑ | 55 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frodoMEISTER | +6.75 | 90 | 42 |
| #2 | MHJ | +1.36 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | โโโHA_29 | +1.01 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | โโโspencer๐ | +0.79 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | MAF | -0.19 | 57 | 61 |





